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Friday, January 6, 2012


What do you do when you discover that you’re in a relationship with an individual who from a functional viewpoint has: an engaging personality, might even be smart enough to be (Rhodes Scholar material), a successful career (enough to be a CEO, attorney or other professional), but from a relationship point-of-view, is the emotional equivalent of a juvenile? These are extreme types whom you are NOT going to find out their deficiency unless you have been in a long-term marriage or other similar relationship with such an individual, again demonstrating the complexities of relationships.
These personality-types are physically draining and having “latched” onto someone who fulfills their emotional needs, they are impossible to get rid of. They can and do make your life miserable because they are fully aware that not too many individuals will put up with their obsessive personalities (nor do they allow many into their lives to the extent to enable them to discover such “flaws”). They are very manipulative and are always trying to do whatever it takes to achieve their objectives, regardless of who gets in their path. These personality-types are very devious to the point of ruining your career (and/or self-esteem if you allow it), if it takes such actions to bring about their scheme’s objective. Personally, I refer to them as “latchers”, because they will cling onto you regardless of what their obsession with you does to you in the process as in their estimation, because of often not even being aware of the "legitimacy" obtained from the individul being latched onto due to existence of "free loader" type activity in their history if "actual" verifable records can even be obtained to support (and satisfy either their “mama’s boy or daddy’s girl” complexes that are at the “root case” of their issues as the case may be). You always have to be mindful of the fact that they know your personality very well, even publicly pretending to be a gracious looser if it will help them achieve their ultimate objective, because whatever, you are trying to achieve is “fair game” for them.
So how do you deal with this scenario? At this point, proceeding forward with your own objectives is the best course of action even if everything isn’t aligned exactly as desired, as long as you are reasonably sure that your ultimate “paradigm shift” is in sight, (remembering that all “latchers” need is to become the primary object of your attention, even if it is negative because it detracts you from your own goals). WHATEVER YOU DO, NEVER PLAY ON THEIR TURF AND TAKE THE HIGH ROAD, WHENEVER IT AVAILS ITSELF, EVEN THOUGH IT MAY BE INITIALLY CHALLENGING, FOR THAT IS THE ONLY "TRUE" AVENUE TO ACHIEVE SUCCESS, BECAUSE ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN SUCCESS BY ANY OTHER PATH IS UNACHIEVABLE AND YOU WILL PROBABLY END UP BECOMING FRUSTRATED, GIVING THEM MORE OPPORTUNITY TO MANIPULATE “ANY OF THE EVENTS IN YOUR LIFE”.

1 comment:

J_F_Brazant said...

Relationships can be very difficult and frustrating because you can never tell what type of individual you will really be ended up with beforehand. Sometimes we are unaware of who we are ourselves, personality-wise, however, one measure of helping with the realization of who we are, is if another individual tells you repeatedly that they are through with you and you are having difficulty accepting and/or dealing with this finality emotionally, (to the point of trying to prove always that the state of your relationship is the other individual's fault); then for this type of person, the successfull transition from adolescent to adulthood has not been made! As children/adolescents we tend to think that we should have everything we set our eyes on, which we have to temper if properly adjusted to being an adult. Relationships are the same!!!