After discussing the subject of relationships for sometime and their different aspects, this subject matter appears to be a natural progression. Admittedly, this is truly a complicated subject, which I do not want to do injustice to. However, after pondering, I decided to approach it from the point of view of what it is not, in alphabetical format:
- Love is not adolescent-like in its treatment of another (adult) respected individual.
- Love is not belligerent!
- Love cannot be condescending to another respected individual!
- Love is not dictatorial, as you can neither force another to really love you, nor is it possible to fall in and out of love with another as a popular song implied; it’s a farce where a respected individual is involved.
- Love is not empirical only, because experiences can be completely skewed.
- Love is never fanatical because when the euphoria wears off, failure is the only course open. Furthermore, just think of what such actions do to the emotions of another respected person.
- Love is not gluttonous, the old saying, “too much of anything is not good”, does have some merit, especially if your tendency is to be self-centered and not respectful.
- Love cannot be hateful to another loved/respected person!
- Love should not be inconsistent, this is just confusing to he other person.
- Love should not be judgmental of a respected individual, because it’s impossible to know another person’s experiences.
- Love does not kiss and tell when another loved/respected individual is involved!
- Love does not lecture another respected individual!
- Love is not meager involving another respected individual (and not necessarily relating to possessions).
- Love is not nasty to another!
- Love is not oppressive!
- Love is not parasitical to another respected individual, such that the demonstrated actions can be classified as “leech-like”.
- Love doesn’t always seek to be the quarterback; it will eventually lead to alienation.
- Love isn’t resentful of the other’s achievements and/or actively impedes their ability to achieve.
- Love does not stalk another respected individual.
- Love isn’t tactless when another respected individual is involved!
- Love isn’t unfair!
- Love doesn’t demonstrate vindictiveness to a respected individual.
- Love is not wicked to another respected individual.
- Love does not x-ray another’s actions to be critical and/or convey a sense of incompetence where respect is involved.
- Love isn’t yucky to another loved/respected individual.
- Love should not have to resort to zingers to gain the “upper hand”, when a respected individual is involved.
In conclusion, all that can be said in my opinion is that love and respect appear to go hand-in-hand. If disrespectful behavior is demonstrated how can “love” be fostered and since none of us are perfect, what happens when we falter? A BETTER DESCRIPTION, WOULD BE TO DESCRIBE WHAT IS NEEDED BETWEEN INDIVIDUALS IS COMPANIONSHIP, RATHER THAN WHAT IS TYPICALLY DESCRIBED AS “LOVE”; BECAUSE IF THE “RIGHT” COMPANION IS FOUND THE OTHER PIECES WILL FALL INTO PLACE.
3 comments:
Please note that I deliberately never described “What Really Is Love”, but what it is not, instead. There are already too many misguided notions about what love is supposed to be floating around for me to add to the confusion. But from my approach, the implications are that: 1) companionship is more important, with the right individual, 2) “love” is only fostered as a result, of companionship with the right individual over time and 3) the emphasis first and foremost should be on the type of qualities that would make the best companion over time instead of our current approach of focusing on an outcome (or by product) of companionship first. If a single individual was freed from any confused notion they may have had about “love”, then my efforts would have been worth it.
TO ANSWER THIS LONG SIMMERING QUESTION, WHICH IS THE SUBJECT OF THIS BLOG, LOVE IS WHAT IT TAKES TO TREAT ANOTHER WITH RESPECT AND SUPPORTIVE ATTENTION IN JUST THE CORRECT AMOUNT AND AT THE APPROPRIATE TIME, CONSISTENTLY.
Some individuals are “so full of themselves”, that much time is expended in trying to convince another whom they have “mistreated”, how “great” an individual he, (or she) may be and professing adoring "love". This clearly demonstrates a lack of respect for the individual’s ability “to choose”, ironically for a person claiming to be a believer in choice who relies on behind the scenes scheming to bring about the desired decision his (or her) way. Maybe, the real fear is a lack of respect for the individual, or a lack of trust in the individual generally to make a decision that does not include himself (or herself)!
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